PC Bangs are places you can find everywhere in South Korea. Large rooms filled with computers, they’re especially popular amongst young males, be it teenagers or men in their 20s. Socially, PC Bangs have been praised for bringing people together, as it’s common for friends to meet up and play games here – MMORPG, or the Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, is especially popular amongst gamers. The most popular game of all is Starcraft, though I’ve never played it myself, so I can’t tell you much about it.
There was an incident some years ago where a man got so addicted to Starcraft, he failed to take any breaks at all, and eventually his corpse was discovered where he’d been playing. He neglected to eat, to drink, just kept playing until his eventual passing.
Then there was this married couple who got so consumed taking care of their virtual baby, they neglected their real life equivalent to the extent that it starved to death.
These stories raised the alarm bells Korea faced with gaming addiction, and new regulations were put in place to ensure such tragedies wouldn’t occur again. One of those implemented was people aged 16 and below couldn’t use the Bangs after 11pm.
I’m not a fan of these games, though. For the most part I hang out at the community forum Xtratime, where people meet up online and discuss all sorts of things, from sports, to literature, politics, films, and music. I’ve been a member since 2004 and I’ve met some wonderful people during that time. The people on this board I consider true friends, and really the only friends I’ve got in my life.
My name is Sol Ki-hyeon, but you can call me Bixente. It’s the moniker or handle I go by online. I’m a fan of the French footballer and winner of the 1998 World Cup winner Bixente Lizarazu, and aside that, I just like his name. It’s funky. I think it’s Basque.
I’m 22 now, and I’ve had social phobia since I was a teenager, really. My family’s house feels like a sanctuary, but I recognize it’s also a prison, and I can’t live like this forever. I leave the house when I must, such as for doctor’s appointments, but I even try to avoid those and try to arrange house visits when possible.
I don’t have any particular reason to feel anxious around people, or about going out in general; but what always floats around in my mind before I leave the house is “what if something bad happens”… what that “if” could possibly be, I have no idea, but there’s no way it could be anything positive, of course.
My closest online friend is Humbird – at least that’s her moniker, as she resides in Suwon, a satellite town near Seoul. We share many things in common, such as a love of silent films – we make it a habit to recommend our favorites to each other. My personal favorite is the 1930 production by F.W. Murnau “City Girl” starring Charles Farrell and Mary Duncan. It’s a movie that’s lived in the shadow of his other work like Sunrise, but it’s my personal favorite of his. Unfortunately Humbird hasn’t gotten around to seeing it. I often fantasize about watching it together, all alone.
Humbird is aware of my social phobia, but recently she’s expressed an interest in meeting up outside the digital world. Such a prospect does excite me, but it terrifies me also. I might try to kiss her. I’m not sure if I’d have the nerve to show that kind of affection, really. I regard myself as quite an ugly person. I’ve seen her picture and she is somewhat plain. All sorts of fantasies have run through my mind – as we watch a movie together, I’ll hold her hand as the credits roll.
Today I’m talking to Humbird on Facebook, and she is very tired. She tells me about her new job. It’s very stressful office work, and her boss is a “total bitch”. We don’t get to talk for as long as we usually do, as she starts work early the following day. Our chat leaves me feeling dispirited.
Sure enough, over the coming weeks, I have little opportunity to talk to Humbird as more and more she gets weighed down by work. Like a fine mist, a sense of gloom seems to envelop right over me. But at last I catch her online, the green light beside her name indicating her presence to me.
“I’ve missed you,” I tell her.
“Work has been crazy,” she replies. “But we can meet soon. I have some free time this weekend. You can visit me, it’s up to you. No pressure.”
Perhaps you’re wondering why Humbird didn’t just come to me, instead? Then I wouldn’t have to suffer from my anxiety. Well, she knew the only way I could improve was to leave the house, and be around people. Nothing would change if she met me at my house.
My parents were taken aback that morning when I announced I was going to meet a friend, given my propensity to be a hermit and all. In any case, I hope they were pleased for me.
I planned to share another silent film with Humbird, the Harold Lloyd comedy “Speedy” – it was a very funny movie with some romantic elements thrown in. It seemed perfect. Speedy can’t hold down a job but when his girlfriend’s grandfather’s rail car business comes under threat from a rival businessman, Speedy finds his true calling as the driver of pop’s rail business. Described as a “love letter to New York City” and featuring a memorable cameo by Babe Ruth, the soundtrack by Carl Davis was really infectious too. I hoped Humbird thought as much, too.
Getting to Suwon was very simple – catch the Gyeonbu line and after a couple stops, you’re there. The biggest obstacle I faced, as was always the case, was my mind.
Like the parasite I am, I asked my parents for some money. They didn’t object; I think they were just glad to see me out of the house.
Upon leaving the house, I was met with a gang of laughing teenagers. At this moment I was severely tempted to return home, but I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. Once composed I walked onwards towards my destination.
At the train station I was fortunate, it being a Sunday, the platform wasn’t as busy as other days would likely be. I checked the timetable – still 25 minutes until my train departed. This was one of the unfortunate aspects about Sunday, trains leaving more infrequently compared to other days.
I got my ticket and sat down, thinking to myself that I should’ve had a better breakfast. Feeling slightly lightheaded, I breathed in and out, and took a couple sips of water. I felt a little better. Glancing at the clock nearby, there was still 18 minutes until departure.
At last my train pulled up to the station platform, and somewhat lurching towards the nearest carriage, thankfully there were plenty of empty seats, so I grabbed my desired window seat. Here I lost myself in thought about Humbird, watching Speedy with her, and what would happen afterwards… what would happen afterwards? I jerked upright as the station loudspeaker intoned that Suwon was to be our next station.
Trying my best to remain composed, I departed the carriage then headed straight for the taxi rank nearby. I told the driver Humbird’s address – she lived in an apartment complex, I knew – and in the driver’s backseat, I closed my eyes. There were really too many bumps along the way; more than once I feared I’d be sick and the driver would be furious with me, and kick me out of his car. Fortunately I contained myself, and eventually we arrived at the apartments in question.
I paid the driver his fee and gave him a small tip. Hesitantly I approached the apartments. I knew Humbird was in Room #4. As I neared, I could see a dim orange light in her room. There was no point holding back, so I knocked her door.
There was a wait of a few seconds, then some rustling from inside, then the door opened. Sure enough, it was Humbird. She was smiling at me. I smiled back.
My first reaction was to be impressed, not with her apartment, but with herself, as she was one of the advanced Geminoid model of androids, one of the most sophisticated designs to come from Japan’s famous Osaka Laboratories.
She asked me if I’d like a drink, and feeling parched, I accepted her proposal, asking if she had any cider in the fridge. Thankfully she did, and just the brand I favoured, Somerby’s. I figured she’d got some in anticipation of my visit.
So we sat down and talked. I was relieved that our conversation flowed easily with no awkward breaks or silences; I knew I could function with her online, but in this situation, face to face, I was less sure of myself.
She was planning a brief trip to Japan. She could only afford a stop over for three days or so, as her job didn’t pay much, but she’d worked hard and saved all she could, and she was keen to meet her creator in Osaka and catch up with him. His name was Nakamura.
At last we watched Speedy. We enjoyed it tremendously, though I didn’t have the nerve to hold her hand.
The movie complete, we had a meal, some traditional Korean dishes which Humbird served for me – she is a splendid cook. Spread out on the table were bi bim bap, bulgogi and kimchi, amongst others. There was also peach rice wine, which was absolutely delicious.
We hugged once I was done with my meal. It was time for me to leave. I wished her well on her Japanese sojourn, then left her apartment, feeling like I could’ve stayed longer, but my legs kept pulling me further and further away, and closer and closer to the sanctuary, or the prison, that was my home.